Broken Glass
by DianaLineelu2001
Summary: Sometimes... sometimes he wonders whether it is wrong for him to love someone...Shuichi POV Eiri x Shuichi


**Pairing:** Eiri x Shuichi

**Summary:** Sometimes... sometimes he wonders whether it is wrong for him to love someone... Eiri x Shuichi

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

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**Broken Glass**

Sometimes... sometimes he envies other people's relationship. When they hold hands, and kiss... and hugs, people won't seem to mind so much. Some will even compliment how this and that couple looks so good together. True it does happen to Eiri and him too but in public... the furthest they would go are holding hands. Surprisingly, it wasn't Eiri's issue this time. It's his issue. It wasn't because he is embarrassed that he loves another man. It's just that he... is not used or comfortable to display public affection because really, this is his first relationship ever. And it gets as royally screwed up as it could get.

Eiri, being himself, won't probe about it and let him be because really, Eiri may seem cold but still, he does love Shuichi. And so, he will not push him if Shuichi is not ready to talk about it. But, even with merely holding hands, people will talk. True, many compliments –most probably their fans- but equally many bad mouthed about them.

No matter how many times Hiro tells him to get used to it as they are now public figure, he can't help but feel hurt by their words. He has to wonder sometimes whether it is wrong to love... And each times they pass these kinds of people; Eiri seems to know what he thinks and proceeds to hug his waist, trying to tell him to ignore them. He will then smiles at his lover and bury the pain deep, deep inside. Nonetheless, Eiri knows. He could see the grief reflected like broken shards of glass in those amethyst eyes. Contrary to popular belief, being optimistic doesn't stop you from feeling sadness.

When their relationship gets stronger... a whole lot more people stand up and starts to throw his feelings off balance. There is Tohma, who'd give the world to Eiri and think that his most important person does not deserve Shuichi. Shuichi is merely a little boy. True, he may be a 'little boy' but this 'little boy' can see clearly how deep is Tohma's feeling for Eiri. Later, come Mika... Eiri's older sister. She thinks that Shuichi could not satisfy Eiri's needs. Shuichi is too...imperfect...too many weaknesses. Shuichi is merely a burden for Eiri. Shuichi acts as if he didn't care about what Tohma and his wife said, pretends to brush it off but truthfully, he does mind.

Tatsuha, Eiri's younger brother... he likes Shuichi. Well, maybe it is because of their obsession for Nittle Grasper but nonetheless, they get along well. Eiri always pretends that he is annoyed when his look-alike brother comes but Shuichi could see in his body sign that he doesn't mind that much. Tatsuha supports them and both of them really need it. He is the _only one_ in Eiri's family to accept Shuichi.

But sometimes, the words that Tatsuha carelessly said make Shuichi thinks. Tatsuha often wonders why his brother who had a scandal with so many pretty women before and even slept with them could fall in love with Shuichi. Tatsuha meant no harm, Shuichi knows that but it makes Shuichi wonder too. Sometimes, he's afraid that he is merely a toy boy for Eiri, afraid that this relationship is a game... to that man.

Eiri's father? Well, that man threw the pink haired singer out the very moment he introduced himself as his son's _boyfriend_.

Shuichi often feels the guilt that he buries deep within resurfaces when he meets Ayaka-chan. True, they are now alright and good friends and all but Shuichi doesn't forget that he had taken away Ayaka's most important person. It is true that her engagement with Eiri is arranged by their family but the truth that Ayaka... loves Eiri remains. For her whole life, she has been preparing herself to be the bride of the man she loves and he just takes him away... just like that. He had shattered her dream.

Besides Ayaka, their relationship hurts another person too... Hiro. Hiro is the one who is always there...with him...for him. When he wanted to be a singer, Hiro took up guitar lesson even though he could be a doctor. Hiro sacrifices so much for him because...because...he loves Shuichi. When he finally, _finally_, realized it, he feels so guilty that he can even jump from the top of the building and just die.

All this while, he thinks of Hiro as a brother, a precious brother. He didn't even realize that this has made the guitarist suffer because that's not what he really wants. But still, in the end... when Shu chooses Eiri over him, Hiro didn't blame him and even supports him. God, how Shuichi wants to bury his own self alive...

And today... his sister, Maiko wants to meet him. Truthfully, he is nervous and scared to death of what his sister might say. There have been far too many people who object their relationship; he didn't think he can take another anymore. Furthermore, the person is his own sister.

Shuichi walks with difficulty among the crowd who is starting to go shopping to buy presents for Christmas... it is already around the corner. It is freezing, he thinks as he enters the café, relieved by the sudden warmth the heater provides him. He looks around and sees his sister sitting near the transparent wall of the café. He approaches her; the nervous knot in his stomach grows with each step.

"Maiko-chan!" he says with a smile.

"Shu-chan!" she greets enthusiastically, he can't hear any other emotions hidden. He allows himself to feel a bit relaxed. They talks about everything and nothing, he do notice that this is merely a whim to delay the inventible. Nonetheless, he plays along because truthfully, he will never be ready to hear what she might say. And then, suddenly the surrounding grows silent. She wrings her hands, a sign of nervousness.

"Shu... is it true that you're...together with... Yuki Eiri-san?" her words are rushed, she stumbles a few times while delivering it. Shuichi closes his eyes.

"Yes." and the bomb explode.

"You're being used, onii-chan! This person, this Yuki Eiri wouldn't need someone like you! He is the kind of person who is together with someone just for sex, for joy... for fun while it lasts!" It is strange how such fiery words feel as cold as the winter outside to him. The frostbiting words stab his already fragile heart.

"Maiko-chan..."

"And what about Hiro-kun? How could you so selfishly leave him just like that when you got yourself infatuated with that-that heart breaker? Furthermore, he comes from a rich, influential family, Shu! His sister is married to the wealthy Seguchi Tohma; people like you won't fit in his world! Why can't you seem to wake up, Shu! Stop you fantasy!"

He is shocked to say the least. For a moment, his mouth hangs open. When the surprise wears down, he turns his gaze to the glass wall, trying to collect whatever wits he has left. His lips quivers and he bites the lower inner flesh to avoid it from shaking so much. His eyes brims with tears but he holds them back. His complexion turns alarmingly pale... it hurts. It really does... his own sister pushes him away.

"Maiko-chan... I don't understand why it is so _wrong_ for _me_ to love someone... I can't help with whom I'll fall in love. Do you understand that?" his voice rasps and shakes terribly. Not waiting for an answer, he rushes out of the café and runs towards his-their- apartment, almost tripping a few times due to the lack of friction.

When he reaches home, he immediately locks the door and falls to the floor, leaning heavily against the former. His shoulders shake and a strangled sob escaped his mouth. He buries his face into his knees and weeps.

"Shu! I've been searching for you everywhere when Hiro told me that your sister called you out. Where have-..." Eiri who was a moment ago ramble his head off –truly a moment of candid camera- stops dead on his track. His ever smiling Shu-chan who is always so strong is now crying brokenly on the floor. Gently, he kneels down and brings the beautiful teen into his embrace.

"Is this wrong Eiri? Is falling in love wrong? Why do we hurt so much people and even ourselves when we're together? Is-Is this a sin, damn it! Why do they keep on convincing me that you don't really love me and that I am so useless? After I had cruelly hurt Hiro and Ayaka for the sake of _this_, how could they say all that? I-I feel like the worst and the most evil person ever, Eiri! Why do we hurt so much when all that we want is just to be together and love each other!" Shuichi sobs uncontrollably, pouring his heart out.

The blond man hugs the vocalist fiercer, all the while caressing Shuichi's soft, silky pink hair. Then, he pulls back to kiss his lover's forehead. His face remained emotionless but one could see the sadness in his sunflower yellow eyes.

"I have broken so many hearts in the past... maybe this is a punishment for me. There are many things that I have no answer for, Shuichi. Maybe this is a sin... but don't you ever dare to say that you are evil and useless. You save me from the grave that I dig for myself. I really, really do... care about this relationship. This means so much to me. You did no wrong; all you ever do ... love me..." he pushes Shuichi's chin up. Teary amethyst eyes meet soft sunflower golden orbs.

"I want... This is the first time I want to work a relationship out so please, let's not get weak now... We work this out, Shu..." He means it. Shuichi can see it as clear as crystal in the man's eyes. And all that he can do is nod and believe in this man that he gave his heart to.

_At the sight of your face...my painfully throbbing heart feels a bit better._

Owari

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Inspired by Stained Glass-a Korean drama series.

Uwah! Already done! Mou... gomen ne, Shu-chan for putting you into so much pain... Demo, with Eiri next to you, you can overcome anything, ne?

Oh yes, if ya have time... try to review kay? Please!


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